> it seems that through her marriage she may essentially have a founder's level of equity in the company
What about the founder's mom? Or the founder's father? Or the founder's children? Or the founder's dear grandma?
There's a reason why equity and investor/adviser roles should be clear and formalized. Bringing cookies at your spouse's work place doesn't entitle you to anything more than polite greetings.
Depends; the marital union is unique (in law and practice), and you haven't said whether the other hypotheticals I posited (de facto large equity position, industry expertise, or a tradition of being effectively helpful) may also exist.
Mixing business with family is always fraught with danger. But it works for a lot of startups.
It's often better to formalize roles & titles, to help everyone reach similar knowledge about real power/responsibility – rather than relying on tacit knowledge, which varies with tenure, social skills, and (in the extreme) romantic relationships. But lots of startups have done well with, and even earned praise and fame for, their low-formalities, low-titles, low-hierarchy, environment.
Marriage is typically associated with sharing assets and belongings. While some parents can be quite free in helping their children out financially, it doesn't mean you can just go into your parents' house and take their money out of their wallets without asking them.
What about the founder's mom? Or the founder's father? Or the founder's children? Or the founder's dear grandma?
There's a reason why equity and investor/adviser roles should be clear and formalized. Bringing cookies at your spouse's work place doesn't entitle you to anything more than polite greetings.