Thank Goddess you weren't around during the American Civil War so you could make a huge show of NOT participating as a white member of the Underground Railroad because the plight of black slaves just wasn't your fucking problem.
Allow me to use the power you think I have to say: fuck you, thanks for nothing, jerk face. If it's "not your problem" then you are actively increasing my problems.
All my educators were men. Everyone in my chain of command from manager to CEO are men. About 90% of my industry peers are men. If they were all anti-woman then WHAT GODDAM POWER WOULD I HAVE? But they're not. Some of them even go so far as to acknowledge the general state of inequality might be within THEIR power to influence. And so here I am: a woman with a computer science degree, working information security, because not only did some men choose not to use their power to block me from getting a foothold, THEY DECIDED TO BE ACTIVELY FEMINIST and help me pull through when the misogynists were telling me to kill myself because I was a worthless slut and actively trying to prevent my career from ever starting with harassment, degradation, and slander.
Maybe I'm not your problem. But if you are just gonna kick back and relax and let misogyny sort itself out then you. are. mine.
Very constructive. The above is why this is your problem, not mine. Only one of us lives in civilization.
> If it's "not your problem" then you are actively increasing my problems.
And you are a career victim. Every woman alive, along with her legitimate burdens, has to bear the pointless weight of your infantile sexism and ignorance.
> Maybe I'm not your problem. But if you are just gonna kick back and relax ...
For the record, I've contributed over a million dollars to feminist causes over the years -- NARAL, Planned Parenthood, others. I singlehandedly started and supported a women's health clinic in a rural location that desperately needed it. As a result, I received regular death threats from the men in that town, but every time I heard from women (the beneficiaries) about that project, I got to hear how I wasn't doing enough, how they needed more from their white male oppressors. Finally, after years of the same, I gave up. I realized I was dealing with perpetual voluntary infants.
And I wonder if you even know what you sound like. Women asked for the vote and got the vote. Women asked for civil rights and got civil rights. Women's status has improved to the degree that they control the majority of public and private financial resources. But instead of accepting personal responsibility like grown-ups, they continue to act like petulant children -- "Fix it, daddy!"
In 2013, the real sexists are women. Men can be retrained away from stone-age attitudes, for the best possible reason -- it's in their interest. But some women have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, into a position of adult personal responsibility. Unfortunately, in public fora like this one, those particular women, even though the minority, tend to be heard out of all proportion to their actual numbers, and they end up drowning out the voices of those who would instead say, "I'm ready to deal with reality on its own terms."
The problem is not that women won't that no for an answer, those days are justly behind us. The problem is women won't take yes for an answer. No matter how many times women's demands are met in full, one quickly hears more demands, all calculated to shift women's legitimate burdens onto men.
Women have the majority of the money, they have full civil rights, they enjoy the fruits of a century of "yes, yes, whatever you say, yes!" It's time for women to stop whining about how badly they're being treated and accept personal responsibility.
It's mindboggling that you can simultaneously call women children and assert that men aren't causing any problems for women.
You're really focused on civil rights and the vote (like it should be impressive that those aren't restricted to white male landowners), but by far the biggest grievances I hear from women are cultural. Being assumed to be anything but engineers because girls are bad at math. Being hit on in contexts that are wildly inappropriate or where turning someone down seems like a bad idea. Being blamed for the actions of their male significant others because everyone "knows" women control men. (I don't much appreciate that one, either.) Having committees of men vote down the women's health budget in one of the largest states. Being called children for still having to deal with a barrage of "remember your place" subtext and not really appreciating it. You know, little things.
Of course those women told you they needed more. You were getting death threats for helping them. That pretty clearly screams that something is still deeply wrong.
There are plenty of women working to help women—some of them the best way they know how, by talking about it—but when the main problem is with the culture, the quick solution is to stop perpetuating it.
Allow me to use the power you think I have to say: fuck you, thanks for nothing, jerk face. If it's "not your problem" then you are actively increasing my problems.
All my educators were men. Everyone in my chain of command from manager to CEO are men. About 90% of my industry peers are men. If they were all anti-woman then WHAT GODDAM POWER WOULD I HAVE? But they're not. Some of them even go so far as to acknowledge the general state of inequality might be within THEIR power to influence. And so here I am: a woman with a computer science degree, working information security, because not only did some men choose not to use their power to block me from getting a foothold, THEY DECIDED TO BE ACTIVELY FEMINIST and help me pull through when the misogynists were telling me to kill myself because I was a worthless slut and actively trying to prevent my career from ever starting with harassment, degradation, and slander.
Maybe I'm not your problem. But if you are just gonna kick back and relax and let misogyny sort itself out then you. are. mine.