I don't know, I also sometimes work as a programmer with fashion people and I just made some time to learn all the references. These days I work as a sort of fashion person for a chip manufacturer. I can hold a conversation about Haskell and I wear designer clothes to the office.
Do both. When you're being Othered, ask questions, listen, and adapt.
What I like is when I tell people what I do and they realize it has a direct impact on the economic recovery of the United States, and then suddenly they feel silly for making fun of me for not using decorators in python. At that moment, they realize that their sub-culture, while enjoyable in itself, is not 42.
I liken it to this (perhaps badly translated, perhaps misappropriated) Chinese saying: "If your philosophy does not wash rice, I'm not interested."
I write software automation for the team at a very large bank that processes repurchase requests for mortgage loans issued prior to 2008, aka toxic assets. Our work allows for clarity and resolution of the aftermath of the mortgage crisis. This has a direct impact in the ability of lenders to establish more accurate risk models and re-enter the mortgage lending business. This allows more funds to be available to mortgage-seekers, which theoretically lowers lending rates, allowing more people to refinance and purchase homes, which, arguably, is a major factor in the current economic recovery in the United States.
That's an oversimplistic evaluation of the situation. We didn't get into the financial crisis simply because people bought homes, we got into it because banks found clever ways to issue mortgages to unqualified borrowers and pass the risk off on someone else.
They didn't find "clever ways to issue mortgages to unqualified borrowers". Simply put the US government guaranteed all the mortgages via Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac by law. The law passed by Congress in 1990s to increase number of homeowners among minorities was to guarantee all the bad loans by the Government. So from a banker perspective it didn't matter if a borrower will repay. Because if he doesn't than the tax payer will by the law. So, ultimately, it's government fault. And democracy fallacy that voters vote for idiotisms like this and then complain that "banks are greedy".
What he's referring to often is not quite mocking. "What, you don't know about ____?" It's more of a slight lack of empathy. I guess what I mean is get over yourself. When I'm in such situations, I get a little embarrassed, research whatever it was when I get home (or even right there with my phone), and try not to make the same mistake again. After a couple of months of exposure, you can be convincingly fluent in any sub-culture.
I'll agree though, people could always be more empathetic.
Do both. When you're being Othered, ask questions, listen, and adapt.