I think it depends on the way you broach the subject. I made sure that he knew my heart would be in whatever job I was doing, and that I would be perfectly happy to remain in New York.

But, you make a valid point. The discussion itself makes it very hard to say "no." I made serious errors in my judgement of the situation, and I wanted this post to inform people about those errors so that they don't make them as well.

I hope people (including myself) can learn both from what I did right and what I did wrong.