One thing I'd update is that early in the article you say that for switching from diesel to lithium-ion, "It's 16 tonnes of payload that disappears".
But then later you take engine efficiency into account and say it's "about 6.4 tonnes of battery".
So the claim that it would ever reduce payload by 16 tonnes seems incorrect, and not everyone is going to read both parts.
One thing I'd update is that early in the article you say that for switching from diesel to lithium-ion, "It's 16 tonnes of payload that disappears".
But then later you take engine efficiency into account and say it's "about 6.4 tonnes of battery".
So the claim that it would ever reduce payload by 16 tonnes seems incorrect, and not everyone is going to read both parts.