Maybe on a market/profit level. On an interpersonal level, though, joy is not valued. If someone feels that you are expressing joy they are very likely to view you less than they did before. We find the expression of joy to be distasteful and childish, and culturally are disdainful towards it. Only cynicism and stoicism are acceptable.
I'm a youtuber and software developer with a small but determined following.
Almost all of that has been gained, not through the quality of my work, but the degree of enthusiasm I showed for it. It's on me to make sure I'm still going in the right direction, because my audience will be swept up in the enthusiasm.
Joy is not only valued, but it is marketable. So is anger. Cynicism is considerably less marketable, and stoicism isn't really observable at all: you're probably thinking of expressions of woe implying great burden and suffering.
When you specifically say on an interpersonal and cultural level that "joy is not valued", and "only cynicism and stoicism are acceptable", that's a screaming red flag that you aren't hanging out with the right people.
Also, who gives a fuck if someone else looks down on you for being happy? Let them wallow in their own misery and judgment. You don’t need their approval. Live for yourself and not for others.
P.S. You might be surprised to find out what they are actually thinking. It’s usually not what you imagined.
The surprise has come because what they are thinking is, in fact that expressions of joy make them respect you less. They hide it, but only for so long.
You don’t get to express joy to family or friends or partners. They will have less respect for you.
You do not get to be an adult man and feel joy about anything. You certainly don’t get to express it.
I’m sorry your friends and family look down on you for expressing joy.
If I was guessing, they don’t actually disrespect you less. They are actually jealous, but don’t feel comfortable expressing their own joy, so they take it out on you, to pull you back down. They probably aren’t even aware that’s why they are doing it.
But that’s a problem with them, not you. You aren’t responsible for their emotional disregulation. It’s your job to take care of you, before you help others. Put on your oxygen mask first, yeah?
It’s a sad life to be rigidly beholden to only express emotions in ways that you imagine others would approve of.
If you care about the person or have the time, then it is good to at least consider their views and feelings (which are often different than what we imagine them to be — you can only find out if you go to the source of truth and ask them. This might sound scary but in a healthy relationship it’s okay to talk about this stuff), but you don’t have to be beholden to them.
And, of course, it should go without saying that doesn’t mean you should completely ignore the current circumstances. E.g. If you are at a funeral, you should tread more lightly, obviously. Every situation is unique, and you have to use your judgment.
It’s ok to do things other people don’t like, as long as you aren’t a jerk about it. Live authentically and listen to your inner voice. Do so with kindness, wisdom, and courage. You might be surprised by the positive reactions you get from others.
Good luck to you.
P.S. This is so important I have to say it twice. Everyone has issues and will project those issues in the way the interact with the world around them. It's not our job to cater to the issues of others. It's our job to take care of ourselves and live honestly and authentically. Sure, we make compromises for those that we love, but we want to do so because of that love, not because we are afraid of what they might be thinking.
