I (along with many others) have been saying it for a while; there just isn't the same infrastructure for physical community as their once was. The church, the mall, the rotary club... these were bumping hot beds of socialisation.
I'm the last person to denigrate the importance of online communities, most of my closest friends don't live in my city. There is, however, a very real and important role for communities tied to your geography.
For one, the "self-sorting" effect is less exaggerated in IRL communities. Sharing a space with people, not because you are similar, but because you live near by and perhaps share the same interests, anchors you to your physical reality. Now, that comes with hardy cons as well as pros (especially if you are like to be discriminated against), but the cons of aggressively self-sorting online are pernicious as well.
If this resonates with you, I have a humble suggestion. If you can mentally/physically afford it, join _any_ IRL community. Volunteering is a good way to do this, organised sports, join a amateur radio club, go to a hackerspace meet-up. If you're in NA and most places in the EU, COVID restrictions might make this more possible than you think.
All of this so much. My problem though is that I just don't know which IRL community to join. I've tried a few, it was not for me. Our hackerspace is heavily into identity politics, which I'm not. So I end up reading books, which is fine too I guess. I'm just not really part of society.
I’m also going through this and there are a lot of (weird) spaces out there, latest example: archery club. I’m currently looking into what it takes to break into 24h of Lemons which is dirt cheap amateur car racing and partying with nerds who like cars.
> Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community is a 2000 nonfiction book by Robert D. Putnam. It was developed from his 1995 essay entitled "Bowling Alone: America's Declining Social Capital". Putnam surveys the decline of social capital in the United States since 1950. He has described the reduction in all the forms of in-person social intercourse upon which Americans used to found, educate, and enrich the fabric of their social lives. He argues that this undermines the active civil engagement which a strong democracy requires from its citizens.
I'm the last person to denigrate the importance of online communities, most of my closest friends don't live in my city. There is, however, a very real and important role for communities tied to your geography.
For one, the "self-sorting" effect is less exaggerated in IRL communities. Sharing a space with people, not because you are similar, but because you live near by and perhaps share the same interests, anchors you to your physical reality. Now, that comes with hardy cons as well as pros (especially if you are like to be discriminated against), but the cons of aggressively self-sorting online are pernicious as well.
If this resonates with you, I have a humble suggestion. If you can mentally/physically afford it, join _any_ IRL community. Volunteering is a good way to do this, organised sports, join a amateur radio club, go to a hackerspace meet-up. If you're in NA and most places in the EU, COVID restrictions might make this more possible than you think.