I've seen this happen in the office too after some stressful or particularly frustrating events at the office! Everyone has a "meeting" scheduled in the unused old conference room in the basement with beverages provided...

At least for a couple of days. You can't just punt things down the road indefinitely. I was remote for a while before COVID and trust me, I've played myself that way in the past...

To the parent's point: 100% agree, you essentially need a different style of communication. Has to be more explicit and include some built-in check-ups and dates. It's easy to pop in and see if someone is frustrated, a lot harder to see them failing remotely.

That manager was fired for other reasons. Company folded years ago, also for other reasons.

Ironically I think the hardest part is not internalizing the temptation to be an ass to others. Maybe if I had called them out on it myself? IDK.

I have a string of terrible workplaces that I'm pretty sure gave me work-anxiety/ptsd (not to belittle worse experiences, but these were bad) and I still have a lot of shame that I didn't speak out more or do more - but I was at the start of my career and had no power to do so that wouldn't have directly affected my ability to eat. That was 10 years ago, now I just try to be the opposite for everyone and amplify peoples knowledge that there really are abusive places and on the inverse there are supportive and collaborative places.

On the flip side I can say after 5 years there I never once referred a soul and in fact helped many get jobs elsewhere and have pulled friends out of them when I could.